Picture this. You’re meeting up with a loved one who you haven’t seen in a long while. Your heart starts to swell and deep inside you feel a warm glowing sensation. Then you wrap your arms around this person, and feel the same happening to her/him. Does this ring a bell? Are you absorbed by feelings of love in this way?
Admire the beauty in people
Well, I certainly am. As long as I can remember, I’ve always been able to give of myself very easily. I readily surrender to feelings of love and affection. No wonder, that I easily love others. That I can disregard people’s negative characteristics, and at times, only admire the beauty in people. This is what happened regularly in the schoolyard when I fell in love. This was often brief, and yet, a couple of times it went very deep.
From ecstasy into sorrow
That was when both the girl concerned and the feeling of love overwhelmed me. I was lost in admiration. This reminds me of the song Your Song by Elton John. Especially the line: ‘How wonderful life is while you’re in the world’. I spent my days with lyrics like these running through my head, until the girl wouldn’t respond in kind to my feelings. It cast me from ecstasy into sorrow. This felt so intense; it even made me feel nauseous.
The connection was disrupted
This also goes for my many of my relationships with others, by the way. Not that I fell in love with everyone, it’s just that I felt such a strong connection, that I forgot that we were two separate people. I would lose myself in unity, and so, I lost myself. In some cases, I even clamped on to others. Until recently, I was convinced that, in this way, I was connecting at a deeper level, and I felt lost because, it was my belief that the other person disrupted the connection. The other person felt unavailable.
Suddenly, I saw life through different eyes
Meanwhile, I realize the opposite is true. By losing myself in other people, I lost the connection with myself. So, in fact, it was I who was disrupting the connection. At first, once I recognized this, I felt a lot of pain. For, deep inside, I felt how lost I was, how I had abandoned my intuition and myself. This was followed by joy, as I realized that if I was able to disrupt the connection, I could also make the connection, and with the same intensity. Suddenly, I saw life through different eyes.
I got to know myself better
I started giving myself more attention; loving attention. I felt deep inside, I spoke out loud to myself, cried and laughed with myself. This is how I got to know myself better, and really made contact with myself. Eventually, I have learned to love myself more, and through this I am able to love others more. Now, I connect with myself first. Every morning when I wake up from my dreams, I feel who I am. A beautiful human being, a strong man, a divine being. It is with this feeling, that I engage with myself throughout the day, and this I radiate.
I surrender, and live life to the full
I go through life with a deep sense of love and compassion, and in the knowledge that I’m able to create literally anything. I surrender, and live life to the full. First thing every morning, I am overcome by a sense of: Absolutely anything can happen today. All I need is to stay in touch with myself, in order to have a good life. Essentially, this is all I need, because, I am responsible for what I feel, create and experience. Knowing this, puts me at ease, and gives me strength. When I feel in this way, nothing will happen to me without me influencing it. I make life what it is, and how wonderful life is while I’m in the world.
Your Song – Elton John
Image: ‘Sunflower’ by Kay82 on Sxc.hu
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